Little Miss Lou

misscpants @ 2005-07-28T15:40:00

2005-07-28T14:54:48Z

An open letter to SMG (and her poor excuse for an actor husband)

Dear Sarah (and Freddie)

Sarah, m'dear, please can you ask your husband to kindly shut the fuck up when it comes to making announcements about your career? Once again he tells us that you'll "never do a Buffy movie"... Y'know that this is just very very bad publicity for you.

Why is it bad? because thousands of fans still harbour a small glimmer of hope that you'll revise this beloved character and while that hope is alive they will go and see your bad films. You quash this desire and you will probably kill this very loyal fan base. You will no longer be able to use this to your advantage and in a few years little old women will point at you and ask 'Didn't you use to be Buffy?' and you'll cry alone because your husband will have copped off with some other teen-flick movie actress (one whose prospects are a tad rosier than yours).

When you crawl to Joss and beg him to do this movie, he'll laugh and laugh and laugh. He'll point out that he made a shit load of Slayers at the end of the series and why would he wish to use a washed up has-been with super-extra white teeth and a scrawny neck when he has all these other hopefuls just waiting to dust their first vamp... and anyway he was planning on killing you and Faith off in the next comic series.

So in conclusion dearest Sar, make like you'll do a film sometime in the future (even if you never do) and tell your husband to shut up, he's annoying anyway (and scary looking).

TTFN X

misscpants @ 2004-09-04T11:18:00

2004-09-04T10:22:34Z

Hubby and I have been discussing what type of restaurant would be better to open, a pirate or cowboy themed one? Me, I like the idea of a pirate one, all seafood, men dressed like Cap'n Jack Sparrow, buxom wenches and lime pie. He prefers cowboys, with beans, chilli and dunny toilets.

So I put it to you people, which would be better?

View Poll: Which is a better concept?

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

2004-07-04T20:17:45Z

First off Happy Birthday to bwitani, hope it's a good one m'dear and belated birthday wishes to enginelovin, I hope you had a great day hunny.

Second off, there is talk of a Serenity convention next April (wheeee!) and I'm in talks with Taz about going. I can't see a problem but I must now consider going on a gut-busting diet, saving lots of money to go and most importantly .... breast feeding and am I going to a) have given it up by then or b) will I be able to express (as I couldn't last time). I breast fed Summer until she was eighteen months old, she started asking for it and it wigged me out enough for me to give it up. I'll start trying to express and see how that goes before I ponder more on the subject.

Third off, I'm leaving this unlocked 'cause I've been friended again. Not that I have a problem with that as new friends are always welcome but I always wonder why I've been friended before I friend people back. New people have to beware as I'm sort of baby orientated at the moment and don't have much time to comment. As time passes normality will be resumed and I'll be able to have coherent thoughts on other topics besides poop, lack of sleep and breast leaking. So if you have friended me and I haven't added you back, can you let me know what on earth possessed you to friend me? apart from my obvious sparkling personality and wit of course.

I'm off to fill my face with cake, what? oh the diet can start tomorrow.

Friends Only

2004-03-13T14:05:06Z

Exactly what it says on the tin.

Holy Crap

2004-03-06T09:15:40Z

"The creators behind BBC Two's League of Gentleman and Coupling are to join a group of writers working on the new series of Doctor Who." Click.

Oh God, Tubbs will be the new Doctor Who, Barbara will be his sidekick and Captain Subtext will be his new nemesis. Doctor Tubbs will have to battle the plague caused by the Special Stuff and ward off those who aren't local.

It's gonna be scary stuff.

misscpants @ 2004-03-01T09:44:00

2004-03-01T10:04:12Z

I think I mentioned that we are looking for a new place to live, trouble is house prices 'round here are going through the roof. We don't want to compromise on space at all, need at least three bedrooms and a bigger garden. Also we decided that it wouldn't be fair on Summer to move totally away from this area because this is where her friends and school are. It wouldn't be right to move to a new house with a new baby and for her to have to go to a new school too. She'd resent the baby.

We've been lucky enough that a friend of ours is selling one of his houses just down the road from us, with all the above requirements - wheee. So if all goes to plan we'll be buying that in September. AND we aren't selling this house. Yes I am becoming a woman of property. As we don't have that much left to pay on our mortage on this house, we are going to rent it out for extra income. Good news on that front is that we already have people lined up to rent it off us.

I am glad we don't have to sell this house as we have put so much work into it. When we first bought the house, it was structurally sound but the interior left much to be desired. The front room was decorated in black wall paper with a pink rose pattern, all the original cast iron fire places had been ripped out or boarded up and the old panel doors covered in ply-board. It even had the old outside privvy. We've managed to make the place look homely, we dreaded selling the place and the new buyer to rip out the new open fireplace and all the original features that we uncovered.

All good stuff.

eta: I'm going to do a friends cull today for a few reasons, one is because I seem to have less and less time to read everyones entries and another is because I feel that I don't have enough in common with some people that are on my list. If you are one of the people that goes, I'm sorry if you feel upset but I hope you understand why I did it. Likewise if you want to remove me from your list because I bore the shit out of you, then by all means do so. I won't be offended.

I worry about myself sometimes....#3

2004-02-20T10:39:12Z

There is an advert currently on TV about oven chips.

The woman is making dinner and is lovingly placing oven chips on to the plate. She then walks out of her trailer and starts walking through some fields with the plate of food in hand. She then arrives at a well and starts to lower the food down to a man stuck at the bottom. He starts to eat the chips.

Caption reads: Had the day from Hell?

This is me right at the end of the advert...

"It puts the lotion on it's skin.....OR IT GETS THE HOSE"

I think I might be going slightly doolally.

Hirsute Rant

2004-02-12T10:04:57Z

Well I'm alive.

I've had my feet up as my ankles decided to swell to the size of melons.

I'm off to see the midwife today which I'm not looking forward to. Every time I go to see her I feel like she'll find something wrong. Paranoid much?

Today I decided to have a lurk around FF and came across a thread that got me thinking. It's called 'Is There Anything Worse Than A Female With Facial Hair?' and I found the contents to be disgusting. Everyone has facial hair and some women have more visible facial hair than others. But the topic in question has degenerated into a discussion about pubic hair. Now hair on women is one of my pet peeves. Women are hairy as are men and this trend that has gone from the 80s to the present day of women having to shave/wax/pluck everything. I mention from the eighties because if anyone has ever seen some vintage porn mags from the sixties/seventies, you'll see that most women are pretty hairy down below.

Years ago there was a huge outburst when a Page Three model appeared in The Sun with a hair growing out of her nipple (way before airbrushing was the norm). One of the men I worked with was telling everyone in the coffee lounge how it had put him off his breakfast. Me being me, confronted him and said that he'd never had a long term relationship (if Buffy had been around I would have told him that he hadn't had the tiniest bit of sex). A lot of the women have hairy nipples and the guy needed to deal with that fact, can you imagine how he would react to living with a woman and discovering her plucking her nipple hair? what a wuss. Any man that has lived with a woman for a period of time, will come to realise that we don't have naturally smooth skin, we have hair and we have to deal with it.

Now this trend is no longer gender based and this makes me sad. I like seeing a man with a hairy chest and I certainly wouldn't ask a man to shave his testicles (ouch). It's much more normal now to hear of men shaving/wax/plucking and I find this a sad state of affairs. Then again they will now appreciate the shit women have had to go through for decades.

I have nothing against keeping yourself groomed (quite the opposite). I do the waxing/shaving/plucking thing myself but a lot of the time I just feel that this emphasis on hairless bodies to be superficial. Unfortunately it's now considered wrong to let your hair grow naturally. Look at what happened to poor Julia Roberts when she didn't shave her pits.

Personally I blame the entire thing on porn.

Other news, Mum is coming out of hospital on Monday - Hurrah. Also means that I will probably be going over to her house a lot to help out until she is properly back on her feet. I'm going to be exhausted.

GIP and Stuff

2004-02-05T17:55:42Z

I decided to change from the component layout to this one (forget the name for now). Also made myself this new icon.

I may go and fiddle with the colours on this thing later, plus need to find something amusing to put in the Ben Browder's Nipple box.

Happy Birthday

2004-02-05T10:07:16Z

Huge mega Birthday Wishes for Rob aka impatient2477.

Love ya and I'm hoping your birthday is a good one.

misscpants @ 2004-01-29T15:35:00

2004-01-29T15:54:43Z

After my entry yesterday I had to collect Summer from school, the melted snow had turned to ice and the hail stones had stuck to the ice... that made for an interesting walk to school.

I was right about that book, Summer couldn't stop laughing at it, so much so that she was crying with laughter. Sex is an hilarious business.

This kind of thing annoys me, I've had it happen a couple of times now with various LJ communities anonymously spamming my journal and normally I just delete the comment. Memo to Rate-Me communities: I'm too ugly, fat, old and nasty to even rate in an old-fat-ugly community so bog off. Plus I'm anti-social so I don't join communities. Go join community promo and do your spamming there.

Something Awful

2004-01-23T11:10:34Z

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1894&p=6

heh, Fanforum gets slated. One of my *favourite* posters gets mentioned aka Magnus-dumbshit, surely they could have found one of his crappier posts. Warning though, the HP board gets mentioned a lot.

I worry about myself sometimes....#2

2004-01-22T12:11:33Z

I was sitting on the sofa watching The Wish and Monty came and sat next to me. He was yowling...

Me: "What is it Monty?... there's been an accident at the Gas Works"

Monty: "Yowwwwwwwwwl"

Me: "What's that? Timmy's stuck down the old well?"

Monty: Looks at me in disgust and walks off.

Me: *giggle* "I'm so funny"

and there was no-one else home to appreciate it

I really need to get out more, if only to allow the general public to benefit from my amazing humour *snerk*

Spam spam spam spam

2004-01-20T15:04:05Z

It says so much about Live Journal when they have to make a page like this.

Tomorrow I'm going for my detailed scan, so I should update sometime with details on how that went. Tomorrow is also my LJ's one year birthday... what did I do on that day but make a total of seven entries, one of which was an ode to my zit.

Wow, I still make pointless shitty entries (nowt new then).

misscpants @ 2004-01-20T09:33:00

2004-01-20T09:43:16Z

I saw this today whilst browsing my Friend Friends pages:

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 1980s has entered the digits 5318008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) So does prodding a fire with a stick.

10) Nobody ever dares make Cup-A-Soup in a bowl.

11) You never know which part of the banana to look at when you're eating it.

12) It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher "mum" or "dad".

18) The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never, ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows where their metal coat hangers came from.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

No. 28 is so true, where do they come from? It's not like you buy them. Perhaps they are some kind of alien eggs that hatch it to cable fairies*.

*Cable Fairies: These invisible sprites run around your house knotting all your electric cables together while you back is turned.... examples of their handiwork can be found behind your computer.

I worry about myself sometimes....

2004-01-16T17:57:44Z

Random thought that occurred to me whilst watching ST-NG:

"My god! Denna has major VPL going on."

That is all.

How to waste 15 minutes

2004-01-07T16:28:21Z

Not really a waste of time 'cause it's fab but Samorost is a great 10/15 minutes worth of point-and-click/puzzle game with pythonesque graphics. Any game that uses a bong to operate a ski lift just has to be fun.

I'm Queen of Procrastination and if you're good 'lil minions I'll link you to The Sims Pinball game for yet more time wastage ;)

Have yourself a merry little Christmas...

2003-12-25T07:31:40Z

Happy Chrimbo all.

I've quickly come on to wish all of you a wonderful day and don't let family stress you out.

Hugs, loves and mucho smoochies.

misscpants @ 2003-12-12T11:50:00

2003-12-12T11:50:38Z

Happy Birthday to cluelessjoy, big smoochies chicky and I hope your day is wonderful because you deserve it to be.

misscpants @ 2003-12-09T17:07:00

2003-12-09T17:08:42Z

Happy Birthday tracing_circles aka Xan.

Hope that your day is wonderful, sending you virtual love and hugs *smooch*

misscpants @ 2003-12-02T13:29:00

2003-12-02T13:38:14Z

Anyone else been having fits of laughter hearing Westlife sing Mandy? It's not just because it's a Manilow song but I just see Angel singing away every time I hear it. What will it be next, Blue singing Bemuda Triangle? Oh that would just be classic.

I'm back at the doctors on Thursday for another round of blood letting and prodding. oh joy.

For Tim

2003-11-13T16:30:00Z

Happy birthday to you,
Smelly monkeys and poo,
Elephants in their pants,
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

*ahem*

Hope you have a great day!

One incontinent Cat to take away

2003-11-07T17:45:51Z

Wanted a good home for one cat by the name of Monty.

Colour: Black (with a brown beard)
Gender: Male (homosexual and into cross-race sex, likes to get it on with male rabbits)
Eye Colour: Yellow
Distinguishing features: One large tooth that sticks out (like Bucky Katt)

Obeys commands like sit, roll over, and beg and will sometimes wave when requested to. Has no cat-like abilities like agility and has a tendency to knock things over with his tail - tail is entirely a different entity from said cat.

Reason for getting rid of: Peed all over the kitchen floor whilst owner was cooking then walked in pee and jumped all over newly washed clothing. Owner now has no hair.

Please take him away before the owner commits kitty-cide.

Lou's Lesson for net usage #1

2003-11-04T13:45:22Z

Dealing with idiots.

This lesson is to help people on-line to deal with the every day stresses and strains of 'other' people on the internet.

Now this exercise should be practiced at least once a day to keep you skills honed.

1. Extend your pointing finger... OY not that finger I said pointing finger.

2. Point finger at offending person/object (and no not at me).

3. Repeat the following three times.

"mock, mock, mock" follow each "mock" with a stabbing motion from pointed finger.

There, doesn't that feel better? in time you will learn to substitute "mock" with some well chosen phrase of your own.

Next lesson: "Learn AOL speak and drop 10 points from your IQ"

misscpants @ 2003-10-14T23:27:00

2003-10-14T22:42:49Z

Dear god I am so intolerant... or maybe not.

Please, if you have friends who talk in AOL speak, have a word with them. It annoys me beyond belief. It's OK if you are in a busy chat room but to use it on message boards and on LJ is just wrong... so so so so wrong.

On message boards and on LJ you have time to formulate your thoughts before hitting that button... spell check is your best buddy as well.

They may use it texting their mates via mobiles but on here, it's really not acceptable. Surely they have learned to use the English language properly, or maybe I'm too naive.

It's no harder typing 'your' than 'ur' or 'thanks' instead of 'thanx', don't even get me on the subject of leet speak because those people need to have their fingers amputated.

If English isn't your first language then you are excused but if it is then go back to school and ask them to teach you how to fucking spell properly because the internet has corrupted you and you need to be cut from it and prove you can write coherently before you are allowed back on.

So sayeth I and my word is Glod.